i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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