my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
