Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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