i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
