You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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