Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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