these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
