remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
