hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
