YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
