but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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