I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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