I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
