FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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