Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
