ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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