I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
