Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
