she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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