So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
