True but thats because hes a fetus.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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