Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
