the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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