i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
