it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
