he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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