and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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