doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
