my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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