You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
