Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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