But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
