I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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