You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
