i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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