I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
