he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
