Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
