Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
