Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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