Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
