That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
