Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
