I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
