Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
