I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
