we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
