I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
