:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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