Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
