So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
