so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
