whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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