I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
