Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
