You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
