Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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