I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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