I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Vodka?
Forever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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