Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize