Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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